What these actors would look like as Colonel Sanders

For anyone who was wondering whether 2020 could get any weirder, Kentucky Fried Chicken just upped the ante — but they didn’t do it alone. In a collab no one saw coming, KFC joined forces with Lifetime to give viewers a 15-minute love story about Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of KFC. Because that makes so much sense, right?

But wait — it gets better. The mini-movie, starring Mario Lopez as Sanders, is called A Recipe for Seduction. Nope, we’re not kidding. The plotline is almost as scrumptious as KFC’s secret recipe, as a young heiress rejects her mother’s chosen suitor for her when a handsome, young chef Harland Sanders arrives on the scene, according to The Los Angeles Times.

The Lifetime romance will premiere on Dec. 13, 2020, giving fans the unexpected union of sexiness and fried chicken. We have so many questions, so we’ll tackle our biggest one first. Why did Lifetime and KFC choose Lopez for the role? Not to hate on Lopez, of course, but there are plenty of other stars out there who could have fit the bill. With that in mind, here’s what these actors would look like in the role of Colonel Sanders.

Nicholas Cage is a seasoned pro

Could Nicolas Cage be a better Colonel Sanders than Mario Lopez? It seemed like Hollywood stopped casting Lopez (except for his Saved By the Bell reboot) while Cage hasn’t stopped accepting movie gigs, so they’re arguably at opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Case in point: Cage has been in 27 productions since 2015, according to his IMDb credits. He also is involved in an “Untitled Joe Exotic Project” that’s in pre-production. If Cage can handle tigers, he can definitely handle some chicken thighs.

Cage would also be a nice fit since the actor reportedly made some curious financial decisions that supposedly drained what was once a massive net worth, so maybe he could use the work. And he certainly has the work ethic to match. In an interview with The New York Times Magazine, Cage was asked about the goal he set for himself of making 150 films. Cage answered this, “[W]ith video on demand, I felt that if I made more movies, not only was it good for me financially, people would be able to tune in at home and go, ‘What’s the next movie that Nick made?’ They’d have a large selection.” Can we add a KFC Colonel Sander credit to this whopping goal?

Ryan Reynolds: A secret Canadian flavor

Do we dare let a neighbor to the North in on this? We’re thinking yes on this one. Wouldn’t Ryan Reynolds be fantastic as Colonel Sanders? The Deadpool star’s part-time job to roast other movie stars online, like Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth, so we know he’s salty AF. In fact, Reynolds has such a tight relationship with his fellow Hollywood A-listers that Page Six has a complete timeline of Reynold’s hilarious faux beef with Jackman. (Can we say… this is somehow more satisfying than A Recipe for Seduction is ever going to be.)

Reynolds is also so funny and wholesome online that he has amassed 16 million followers on Twitter as of this writing. So if Reynolds was cast as Colonel Sanders, imagine the hilarious tweets we’d get from Hollywood’s cute, little Canadian. It would have been a non-stop stream of internet gifts. And we know Reynolds would see the ridiculous side of a KFC/Lifetime collab. But here’s the best casting of all.

Gordon Ramsay could crack the code of KFC's secret spice

If anyone could play Colonel Harland Sanders, it would be Gordon Ramsay. Why? Well, Ramsay has a reputation as the sassiest chef on TV. Who else could come up with insults like “Idiot Sandwich?” Ramsay seems to understand perfectly the cathartic process of yelling odd insults in the kitchen.

So why is this a great fit for Sanders? Well, according to a story about the Colonel in The New Yorker, Sanders used to be fixated “by the fear that someone, somewhere, is doing something to hurt his chicken.” The second on his list of obsessions was gravy. He would pay unexpected visits to his franchises, demand to sample the gravy, and proceed to pour the insults. He once asked, “How do you serve this God-da**ed slop? With a straw?” Does that not sound like Ramsay? It’s almost eerie how similar they are.

According to The Chicago Tribune, a huge part of the KFC-hype is their secret mix of 11 herbs and spices. The company was so into their secret that once, in 2008, the “company used a Brink’s armored truck and briefcase marked ‘Top Secret’ when it made a big show of beefing up security at the vault containing the Colonel’s handwritten recipe.” This level of security wouldn’t stand a chance against Ramsay and his arsenal of insults.

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