Love Island 2019: The scales have tipped thanks to Raunchy Races, leading Curtis to admit Amy can be 'b*tchy'

While Amber, Amy and Molly are doing a convincing Tammy Wynette impression over in Casa Amour (for the younger readers at the front; Tammy sang Stand By Yer Man), two of the “three really nice guys” are cracking on with Jourdan and Joanna.

Tonight’s episode saw middle-aged manchild, Curtis, again wringing his hands, pawing his hair, and rabbiting “But things are good with Amy, I see a future with Amy” and so on, and so on. Yes, no doubt all of that was true, but then some new hotter girls came in and all that went by the wayside. Although, Curtis could just be clocking the bigger picture – ensuring his future with producers by creating some GOOD TELLY. Lads, we’re all getting too sucked in and believing these contestants on a reality TV game show, with a cash prize for being in a couple, actually have real feelings for each other.

Self reality check over, Curtis managed to ask Jourdan if she’d be into a spot of swinging, before telling her “Obviously I’m not going to lie, it’s a weird situation. Me and Amy are strong and it feels good, I just thought I’d get to you know you a little bit more as well… I’m wanting to explore it because I would be kicking myself if I didn’t.”

Unburdening himself in the Beach Hut, he added: “Jourdan seems lovely, she’s attractive, she’s nice, I seem to have clicked with her a little bit.  Is she better than Amy? I can’t say yet…” Twitter had a meltdown.

Twitter had another meltdown, but over an entirely different reason – and not just because people decided they collectively like Amber but don’t like Amy, but because Michael had us ALL fooled. We all feel like muppets. He’s played us. But, really lads, he’s just being true to himself. Michael doesn’t owe us anything. We need to face facts, and cop ourselves on.


Televised Club 18-30 continued with ALL THE KISSING NOISES. The misophonic among us were in a heap. While both Amber and Amy avoided smooching anyone, Curtis snogged Jourdan, and Michael lobbed the gob at Joanna, when they could’ve snogged ANYONE else. They obviously wanted to see if there was the elusive “connection.”

Things did initially look up for Amy when Curtis bit an unimpressed Jourdan’s lip, leading him to admit the kiss “wasn’t great.” Michael, on the other hand, nearly pulled Joanna’s arm out of her socket en route to the nearest bed, did his sex favourite position with Joanna, kissed Joanna, and can “be himself” around Joanna. In short, Joanna gives him hope…


• The smug HEAD on Danny; he’s only delighted with himself now that all the “nice guys” of the Villa now look as bad, if not worse, than him – which is saying something considering he chose to wear a salmon jacket with a popped collar teamed with white socks and sneakers. And shorts.

• Danny, Jordan and Curtis all fancy Jourdan. Someone should let Curtis know so he can start putting his eggs back in Amy’s basket. Well, he kind of got the message when Jourdan decided to share a bed with Danny. And it didn’t make any difference… Curtis still wants her.

• Lucie had a snog with student Stevie (well, Stevie caught her unawares) and she seemed OK with that, but she still chose to share a bed with builder George

• Dennon’s been grafting Maura big time, but it seems he’s in love with the sound of his own voice more. Marvin and Maura might be a goer, though.

• Michael giving Curtis an outlet to admit Amy is “bitchy” with her comments and he basically doesn’t find her physically attractive was pretty much everything


Why has Curtis’s head been turned, though? Like, WHY? Can someone please explain??? Oh.


Curtis has decided to (hypothetically) choose Jourdan (despite her sharing a bed/kissing Danny), while Michael and Jourdan decide to smooch in front of everyone… DUF, DUF, DUFDUFDUF DE DE DUF DUF (one for the EastEnders fans among you)

Love Island continues Sunday on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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