Ricky Gervais has warned us all that should he ever be found dead in a ‘compromising sexual position’, that it was most definitely a ‘stitch-up’ from his friends to sell to the papers.
How on Earth did Ricky get onto this subject, you ask? Great question.
The comedian and After Life star was musing over death with Conan O’Brien overnight, when talk turned to how they would, or, rather, wouldn’t, want to go.
Ricky insisted he didn’t care about being dead, seeing as he wouldn’t know it had happened, but there was a facet of dying that he wasn’t keen on.
He said: ‘I suppose I worry about how I die. I don’t want to die alone, or in agony, or an embarrassing death.’
As Conan agreed, Ricky appeared to reference the death of MP Stephen Milligan, who died from asphyxiation in 1994, his body discovered by his secretary, wearing stockings and suspenders, with an orange in his mouth.
Ricky went on: ‘I’m not into that stuff, so if I am found like that, one of my friends had stitched me up. They’ve dressed me up after my death and called the papers. I just want to say that now.’
That wasn’t it though, as Ricky shared specific instruction for what he’d want to be done with his body after he did die.
Ricky explained: ‘I thought it would be good to be just fed to the lions at London Zoo. That would be useful, isn’t it? We never give anything back. We take everything from this world…everything we do is for us, we’re not even food for other things.
‘At least then…I’d like the look on the tourists’ faces when they throw this dead, fat, naked, 73-year-old, maybe, if I’m lucky, to the lions, and as it lands some people go, “is that the bloke from The Office?” they go, “what, Steve Carell?” “No not f**king Steve Carell. He’s much fatter than Steve Carell.”.’
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll just be over here trying to get that image out of our head.
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